High five to me for keeping an actual human being alive for half a decade! Violet is five now. With a recent spate of pregnancies and births among my acquaintances I am definitely feeling nostalgic for her babyhood. I thought I was broody, but really I wish I could relive the past five years. I’m at peace with the fact that I won’t have any more children; it’s sad that the path I’m on hasn’t provided the opportunity for me or Violet to have a bigger family, but it do feel complete just the two of us. I wish I could freeze her in time so she’d never lose her innocence or energy. Honestly, the love you have for your own child is a love that can devastate you. It’s a physical sensation; I feel like I could explode from it. Even now, smelling her hair is like ecstasy, an intoxicating experience. And now she’s five. I hope it never gets weird for me to smell her hair.
We went to London to celebrate her birthday with her dad and our friends, and we managed to squeeze a lot of fun into four days. A big highlight was when I met internet-friend-since-2007 Laura Jane Faulds in actual three-dimensional real life, and talked about our favourite things: butter and astrology. She’s a textbook Cancerian fyi (much like Richard F. Scott). Our Meyers-Briggs typologies are similar but not identical*, and we ordered the same burger (green chili cheese) in MEATmission so how’s that for a cosmic connection?
Violet’s birthday meal was at Hawksmoor Seven Dials, where I ate a lobster roll with triple-cooked chips and drank marmalade cocktails with some of my favourite people. We made speeches and Sparky Deathcap even improvised a (one-line, non-rhyming) poem for the occasion. Violet’s cake was courtesy of the Hawksmoor and I did take photographs of it but the lighting was too ambient to do it justice.
I did a ton of shopping, and so did V (big s/o to the friends and family that gave her a small fortune in spending money). Her dad kindly bought me a pair of NikeLab specials which are big-time treats that I would never buy for myself. Other than a Kenzo sweat for V, I didn’t make any big-ticket purchases: pants from American Apparel, Disney figurines from Hamley’s, Fig + Yarrow Mustard Soak from Liberty, Mac Mineralize in Gilt By Association and Mac Hue, which I haven’t tried yet as I’m allowing myself to go through a gross no-make-up phase.
It was back to school today though, and like the total homebody I am, I couldn’t wait to get back to my routine** – my own bed and own bathroom and Luna. Abandoning the cat with our neighbours for a few days has certainly done wonders for her shitty attitude.
Five years. Good going.
*I’m an INTJ and she’s an INFJ – of course she’s more intuitive than me. I’m a Sagittarius, duh!
** Major non-Sagittarian quality there, but then my Moon Sign is Taurus